Sweet are the uses of Adversity

Never had I thought that despite being in my comfortable abode- my peaceful room, good food and no commotion, I would still feel unhappy. The isolation has many benefits disguised as miseries. I don’t think I have ever had this amount of time to focus on myself, in the past seventeen years that I have got just in the last eight months. That is something that I could use to my advantage, given that if I want to. The major problems that I have faced are as follows- (Maybe you will relate with them)

1. Getting bored and losing the desire to work on my predefined goals.
2. Having difficulty connecting to the moment as my mind wanders to the past for pleasure and then reckons on the future for anxiety.
3. Feeling lonely and unique in my circumstances. In short, feeling pathetic for no particular reason and viewing the “me time” from a pessimistic point of view.
4. Self-loathing, detrimental thoughts that just cause further pain rather than any good.
5. Trying to enjoy in the moment through the means of Netflix which further piles up tons of guilt for me to drown into.
6. Feeling meaningless, questioning my mere existence.
7. Being miserable and crying a river for no particular reason.

So it isn’t like I haven’t liked the “me-time” in this isolation but these are some of the major thoughts that have set the background in my mind and I feel like I have overcome them but they seem to recur at some point or the other. I guess I am writing this article to help myself and also others like me who seem to be having the same troubles. So the first thing that I would advise myself is-

1. Be wise with the goal setting. In fact, for what it’s worth- don’t even have goals. Have systems wherein it’s the process that you are aiming for and not the end result so that you are enjoying so much so that you don’t give a damn about the results. Identify things that bring that give you the dopamine rush by merely doing them.
2. Getting bored with stuff is totally normal, especially when you aren’t being compelled by external forces to complete something. Take breaks, toggle between your tasks of the day. Watch Netflix once in a while but only after you’ve done the work and you know you deserve it.
3. I know you try to do something new each day, pick a new hobby or routine but aren’t always consistent with it. There might be various reasons behind it. For once, it isn’t necessary that you continue with everything new that you’ve tried because if you don’t enjoy it, then what’s the point? But also, don’t give up on them because of your existing set of activities that you dislike. It needs courage to continue with something that you really like despite the external resistances.
4. Write down the things that you’ve always wanted to do and see this time as a golden opportunity to bring all those desires to life. List out the books that you haven’t read and want to read. Now that you’re getting time where it’s just you and books, use it as a motivation to get over with tasks that are expected of you so that you can enjoy your reward of reading, if you are a bibliophile. If not, choose your own reward but it shouldn’t always be watching Netflix.
5. You do not want to live with the regret of never trying different things and discovering who you really are.
6. Whenever you feel meaningless, just pause and reflect on the meaninglessness of the universe itself. I know it sounds weird but, there aren’t many meaningful things in the universe so if you’re one of them- take it.
7. Constant journaling/vlogs- just for yourself or you can share them if you want but keep reviewing and reflecting on your days so that you know where you are at the moment and where you want to be.
8. Whenever the chain of negativity starts, let it come, just observe it. Do not give it the power to disrupt your mental peace. I know this will be hard but I guess after quite sometime, you will realize how powerless those thoughts are without your acknowledgement.
9. Going down the self-loathing lane can be messy, so be consistent with any one activity that you like and do it everyday so that soon you will master it. Whenever you are feeling low on your self-esteem, do that one task to raise your morale, but do it because it will get you started and motivated to accomplish what you weren’t able to achieve earlier.
10. Use this me-time for understanding how you’ve been conditioned and how you can change things that you don’t like around you. Just think about them and write your thoughts down. You can’t change the world in a minute with a thought, it will take perseverance and a lot of commitment. So do not be dependent on moments of passion to bring out the best in you because they do not last that long. Nonetheless, they are very crucial for you to understand how powerful you are as a human and act as a means to direct you towards what you actually want.
11. Think about ways you can help others- your siblings, friends, parents, anyone you know who is asking for help or is in need of it but isn’t asking. What are the ways in which you can contribute to the world? Start with your home, maybe.
12. Be grateful for everything you already are blessed with and maybe make it a habit to write down any five things that you are grateful for each day. This is something that has really helped me and I highly recommend it.
13. Do not hesitate to reach out to people when you are facing any problem- whether it be in your work or mental health. The more you withdraw yourself, the more difficult it becomes to break the vicious cycle.
14. A change in perspective can change your life.
15. Stay in touch with your closed ones and don’t be completely self-absorbed.
16. This is the ideal time to condition yourself to become who you want to, to exercise self control, work upon yourself and to find true inner happiness.

I hope you don’t regret reading so far.

If this article was of any help to you, maybe drop a comment and share your thoughts!

Until next time

Aditi Agarwal